October 2015

ROCO Friday – Safety Meetings

The congregation is at a near frenzy. The thought that the good Reverend might be returning today has an excited buzz rolling through the crowd. Electrified whispers start at the front of the room and spread to the back. Suddenly, a hush falls across the room as a solitary figure steps towards the pulpit.

*clears throat*

Good morning, my dear friends. You have been missed. Please know that the Reverend MiamiShyner has been itching to get back and speak to you. Let the congregation say ROCO.

Today, this wonderful Friday, let us talk about dancing, dancing safely, and safety meetings. We might also touch on the paranormal, but first things first: dancing. Oh yes, we all do it. Whether you admit it or not, at some point, probably today, you’ve either busted out a dance move, no matter how small. Perhaps you’re doing choreography in your head right now. If so, good on ya. If not and you haven’t even thought about busting a move today, get up and do so. I’ll wait……

Yeah, Tina. Get it.

That’s also about how I look when making attempts at dancing. Yep, I am the anti-stereotype. Black girl that can’t sing or dance and has no ass. I also hate watermelon and fried chicken isn’t high on my list of loves either. On the whole, I haven’t dated within my race (OMG, the horror!) and that’s not how I married. I contributed to the world interracial fund with a daughter and I think everyone else should too. Let the congregation say ROCO. But I digress.

Weekday mornings, I rise from my slumber and head to the yoga dungeon/workout lair/basement to visit with Shaun T. You know, you gotta love a Shaun T workout, unless it’s any of the Insanity ones in which case you can kiss the crack of my black ass. But Hip Hop Abs, Rockin Body, and Cize? Yeah. All day, every day. It’s dancing and dancing is fun. Or, at least, what I call dancing is fun.

Shaun T says everyone/anyone can dance. You know, I hate to call shenanigans on him, but I have to disagree. Everyone/anyone can follow choreography. Not everyone can dance. Like me, for instance. I can follow your choreography and get it down pretty quickly. Does that mean I look like I’m dancing? Nope. People around me might be doing the same thing and looking like they’re dancing, but I’ll look like I’m having a seizure. So, yes, everyone can follow choreography when broken down correctly, but not everyone can dance.

And I can’t dance safely. One might think for the activities in which I participate, that I would be much less of a klutz. But no, guess again. I fall over my own feet in any sort of complicated footwork, and this morning, I managed to strain my side. Dancing. Maybe I should just call what I do spazzing. The harder I try, the worse it looks, lol. You don’t believe me? Go ahead and watch that little clip below and laugh. My left side! It hurts, lol.

There you go. Proof that I can’t dance. And especially not safely.

I can, however, and have been known to in the past, ahem, conduct a safety meeting. What? I’m unapologetically me. I don’t do things to hurt others. And as long as I stay on that path, I’mma do WTF I want. Just like Eric Cartman. And, I live in Colorado, so bite me. Bite me like I’m a weed infused cookie that you’re dying to try.

Anywho, on a completely different topic, do you ever wonder if your house is haunted? When I was a kid and my great-grandfather died, we moved into his house. Now, we’re talking early 80s here. When houses were sturdy but wiring was probably questionable. After we moved in, odd stuff happened. Lights would turn off or come on of their own volition. A few electrical-type things happened, but the adults laughed it off. Once, just once, I heard an adult say that it was Grandpap doing it, but I think they also realized that I overheard that so then it became a full-on force about wiring. Adults, they’re crazy. Kids, they know the paranormal truth.

Jump ahead about 30 years and here we are in this house. We really know nothing of the history of it, and fortunately a Google search doesn’t turn up anything. However, the reality is that this neighborhood is basically a retirement community which means the probability of someone having passed under this roof is probably high. Not anything to be frightened of in my book. Many were the times I went into my grandparents’ house after my grandfather had passed there. I lived in my parents’ house after my father passed there. And now, on occasion, I hear people talking (and I make sure it’s not the landscapers) or I’ll hear music when I know that it isn’t coming from anything I’m doing nor anything my neighbors are doing. Fun, right?? I’m still waiting to experience something definite. I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, however, I’m off to do some Friday-type shit. Wishing you all a good weekend and a better Pittsburgh sports night tonight than last night was. #cutScobee

Hello, October

It’s Buctober!! Yes, after that 20 season drought, our Pittsburgh Pirates are in the playoffs for the third consecutive season. This is the year. This is the one where we go further. I’m hoping with everything I have that this is the year that we go all the way. I mean, who doesn’t want to see the Batman go out on top? AJ has put it in for us and I hope we can return the favor in this, his last season.

You know that song isn’t only about the Battlin’ Buccos (#theseguys), but it’s also all good for the gridiron gang, the Renegades, the Steelers. Even though our number one guy is holding it down on the sidelines with a bum knee, we still take the field strong tonight against the hated, dirty, filthy Ratbirds of Baltimore. May the good guys prevail.

On to non-sports related items. On Tuesday, I caught up with an old buddy and we went to work out together. Good times! The text messages the next day were pretty hilarious as we realized that we’re a little out of shape and we commiserated on our pained muscles. Yep, we’re sore, but not so sore that we won’t try it again next week. Cuz we’re silly like that. And I need to get out of the house at least once a week to see people besides the one I’m married to. 🙂

In that same vein, more or less, for the last 2 weeks, I’ve been taking two supplements (which I got for free in exchange for an honest review). One is Ashwagandha (say that five times fast) which is sort of a stress reliever/fog clearer, and the other is a joint support formula that has glucosamine, chondroitin, and MSM. More for me than for you, so I remember what I want to write in my month-end review, neither produces immediate results, which is typical. I’m a chiropractic regular, so I asked my guy how long it would take before I might feel any effect from the joint combo. He said probably around two weeks and that’s where I am now. First, though, let’s talk about Ashwagandha, going forward known as Ash.

As I come to a close on the second month of my new job, I feel as though the Ash is helping. A new job is always a little stressful and this one is tie-one-on-inspiring. I promise you that three weeks ago, when I made it to 5 o’clock, walking away from my computer was the biggest relief in the world. Walking away was usually accompanied by some sort of relaxing function…like beer. Currently, 5 o’clock rolls around and I’m still happy to be done with my day, but I’m on a different mental level. I’m not feeling like I want to throw shit or punch puppies or bawl my eyes out. Just happy to have finished another day of work. I haven’t been overly upset with anything else either. And I’ve adopted a life’s too short kind of attitude. We’ll see how that all pans out. Go Ash!

Now, for the joints. Maybe you know, maybe you don’t, that I have a small partial tear in the labrum of my left hip. The tear itself doesn’t really cause any pain, but the muscles that tighten up around it trying to do their protection dance are real jerks. And, let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and yet I keep putting my body through the paces of a younger person. In return, my body does most of this shit but lets me know it isn’t happy by groaning and creaking and sometimes crunching.

The crunching usually happens in the knees whenever I’m going down into or coming up from a squatting position. Has it stopped completely in the last two weeks? No. Has it gotten a little less loud? Yes. Joint point!

My feet. They’re a train wreck. My toes tend to raise up off the ground and I look ridiculous when I walk. Combining stretching, my gua sha tools, and the joint combo looks as though it may make things a little better. My toes almost lay flat on the floor when I put my foot down now. By the end of the bottle, maybe they’ll be normal and I’ll stop putting holes in my fucking sneakers because of my mangle-toes.

Back to those hips. They don’t lie. They also don’t really like me. But, they’re warming up to me as I keep feeding them the joint combo. Notice I said warming up and not opening up because, even though I put in work on them for the month of September, there was only a tiny bit of progress. But hey, I guess I can’t expect magic in 30 days after 30 plus years of abuse.

So, we’ll see what comes of another 2 weeks of this horse pill regimen. Because if I can keep choking these things down, I can do anything! Like stand on my hands. I WILL accomplish this…before I turn 45, lol. Giving myself a little buffer.

Have a great night, folks. Get behind my boys tonight. All of them! #blackandyellow

October 2015

ROCO Friday – Safety Meetings

Hello, October

You Missed

Nothing To See Here

Too Damn Slow

Ghosts (of Days Gone By)

Raunchy Activated