Off Schedule

Yep, when I’m posting blogs after 8 in the evening, I’m way off schedule. I was a considerable fail this morning as far as writing in the blog although I did catch up on writing for the lab and paying bills. So, I’m actually gonna retract that fail and call it a win. Because I’m good enough; I’m smart enough; and gosh darn it, people like me!

It’s pretty crazy that I live in Colorado, we get 3 inches of snow, and everyone drives like they just got here from Hawaii. I saw one person completely lost their sh!t in the sharpest corner in the area. Cops and a tow truck for you! Some folks driving way too fast, some way too slow. But no hassles for the brown bomber…either one of us.

Speaking of Colorado, and Denver in particular, they are all about their Broncos here! Granted, they don’t really have the fervor that Steelers fans have all year round, but it’s a good showing for them. Since Peyton’s certainly gonna win it, I wonder if he’ll go back-to-back and then call it or try one more time and hope for the double. You know how I love a conspiracy theory.

A mere 200 words before I’m tapped out. That’s kinda sad. However, while these posts are shrinking, I think my writing lab ones are growing within their confines.  I’m ok with that. So ok that I’m gonna call it a night and maybe I’ll have some super nutty dream to tell you about in the morning. G’night.

Off My Game

Even though it’s Monday, I didn’t start the day off my game and fortunately, I’m back on it already.

As per all Mondays over the last two months, rise at 5:30 and physically prepare for getting to the gym so that I can mentally prepare for the week. I learned that today is Ganesh’s birthday, and in honor of that, we did/attempted Elephant pose. (Sit on the floor with legs outstretched. Tuck an arm/shoulder under the same side leg. Push through the palms and lift everything off of the floor.)



Photo credit: Yoga Journal

It’s difficult, but manageable. For a few seconds at least.

After a great practice and a relaxing Shavasana, I felt great and ready to tackle whatever might come my way this Monday morning.  I just wasn’t expecting it to come my way so quickly.  Like on the drive home from work.

There is currently a bit of construction going on between my house and the gym which means at times we slow down. No problem.  Most of the time, people go back up to the speed limit after getting past the construction.  Except for today.  Except for the car in front of me.

Now, being in my relaxed yoga mode, and in no real hurry to get home and turn on the work computer, I just bounced along to the beat of whatever happened to be on the radio as we rode our brakes all the way down the hill at 10 mph less than the speed limit.  Whatevs.  I have good tunes.  And as we reach the bottom of the hill, the car in front of me pulls into the turning lane and this, ahem, GENTLEMAN (NOT), proceeds to flip me off.  *sigh*

My first instinct was to follow him into the parking lot and confront him to see if he had something he needed to tell me, but that probably isn’t very yogi-like.  So I just went home.  I was bothered by this incident for at least 30 minutes before I came to a rationalization that made me laugh, feel sorry for him, and move on.

Realization. You are a more than middle-aged man driving a small not-quite sports car.  I’m sorry that you are likely having a mid-life crisis with your small penis.  And if you think things are rough now, wait until karma boomerangs back into you. And with that, I can let it go. 🙂

Have a wonderful Monday.

When Kiddo speaks Spanish

Something reminded me of this earlier this evening.

When Kiddo was about 4 or 5, I was driving down the road and she was in the back in her car seat.  Kiddo proclaimed that she could count in Spanish.  I figured I would play along and told her to go ahead.  It went a little something like this:

Kiddo: One is uno.

Me: yes

Kiddo: Two is dos.

Me: very good

Kiddo: Three is tres.

Me: nice job

Kiddo: Four is twat-ro.

Me: (after recovering from nearly driving off the road from bouts of laughter) Almost, Kiddo, that's CUATRO.

Kiddo: Ok.

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Estimados Miami,

No pueden caminar en frente de mi carro cuando yo tengo la luz verde y si se hacen, yo te voy romper sus piernas.

Now, for those of you not from Miami or those of you who, like me, aren't bilingual (okay, I'm pretty good when I'm drunk) that says:

Dear Miami,

You can't walk in front of my car when I have the green light and if you do, I will break your legs (with my car).


The angry girl in the green car.

Seriously.  I need that big black cop-rammer that the police have on the front of their car.  It would keep hair and blood out of the grill of my car.  Just last week I was driving through downtown, fortunately slower than usual because I was a little lost, and before I knew it, someone was standing in front of my car.  She was on the phone, walked out from between two parked cars, NEVER LOOKED, and walked out in front of my moving car.  Lucky for her I was in a good mood and I stopped.  Don't be fooled.  Even with my windows up, I screamed at her as she stood in front of my car looking at me like I was driving on the sidewalk.  Oh, and she heard me.  I'm loud.  Many years ago, I used to be a cheerleader.  Her cheer went a little something like this:

(head nod to start the cheer) HEY! (clap, clap, nod) Hey you! (clap, clap)  ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?!?!  (clap, clap, flip her off) (clap, nod)

Yeah, so anyways, downtown's pretty cool.  Why just yesterday I saw a homeless gentleman standing near a FedEx truck.  He was chatting away and I thought that he was talking to the driver.  Nope.  As I got closer, I noticed that he was talking TO the FedEx truck.  He held one finger in the air while he talked.  He then proceeded to cross himself.  Is FedEx sponsoring a new religion?  Deliverotology?  Do they preach from the Gospel of Two Tries and then you have to come to The Warehouse?  You should visit Miami.  Really.  Make sure you go DWNTWN

In other news, I think I pulled a muscle in my leg this morning.  No one to blame but myself on this one.  You see, I'm the first one up in the household and I try to be quiet and not turn on too many lights upstairs where everyone else is sleeping.  Usually, I do a good job.  Today, not so much.  I was coming up the stairs in the dark and I somehow miscalculated the number of steps.  It could have been worse, I could have thought that I was at the top when there was one more step.  That would have woken Lovey up for sure.  Kiddo could sleep through the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ocurring in her room.  But no, I thought there was one more step when there wasn't.  If you've done this, you understand and know how funny it is a few hours later.  I'm sure that if there was a hidden camera in the house, I would've looked hilarious.  I managed to stay on my feet though.  Yay me!

I'm really not much one for the current state of hip-hop.  Once in a while, something will come along that I actually enjoy hearing.  Make Me Better by Fabolous f/Ne-Yo is one of those songs.  The beat is somewhat catchy and the verses are okay and sometimes amusing, but it's really the chorus that makes me like it.  There's so much negativity these days in the hip-hop that it's refreshing to hear someone say/sing:

Make Me Better

I'm a movement by myself

But I'm a force when we're together

Mami I'm good all by myself

But baby you, you make me better.


It's over there ————>

Listen if you like.


I suppose it's time to get this day underway.  I added more to my plate without finishing my broccoli, but that's just the way I roll.  My FFO is listo on the board.  HEP!


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PLEASE, slow down

For those of you that don't know, I'm a resident of south Florida, Miami to be exact.  I've lived here now for 3 years.  It hasn't been all candy and flowers, but it hasn't been that bad.  If, by some chance, you don't read these sorts of trivial things, Miami was voted country's rudest/worst drivers.  You can laugh about it and point fingers and joke, but it's sadly true.  I've lived in many places both in and out of this country, and Miami is the worst.  (And no, I'm not going to just sit and complain, we're moving next year.)

I didn't start this post, however, simply to say the driving is bad here.  This is a wake-up call, a warning, a shout-out, whatever you want to call it, that we, as responsible driving adults, need to SLOW DOWN on the roads.  Saturday morning I was reading the Miami Herald and under the breaking news was a story about a pedestrian being struck and killed by a car while trying to cross US1.  This highway is dangerous.  People are dying trying to cross it and nothing is being done.  The most tragic part is that this pedestrian was only 14 years old.  A young life lost before even having a chance to reach its potential.  Parents have been devastated.  A whole school is this morning trying to cope with the loss of their friend and classmate Vincent Delmore.  I know this is true because my daughter was friends with this young man.  She created a

memorial website.

It's hard enough to explain death to the young, but at least it is typically an older relative.  How do you help a child cope with the senseless death of a friend? 

I beg you, I implore you, I ask you kindly from the depths of my heart, le pregunto, please slow down on our roadways.  There is really very little that can be that important for you to endanger the lives of those in our community and the lives of our children.  Please, leave 5 minutes earlier or just be 5 minutes late (nothing starts on time anyways) and slow down and pay attention to the road.

My heart goes out to every child at Ponce this morning and especially to the parents of this young man.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

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